Fat Girl by Jadestone Doll

originally posted at: http://allpoetry.com/poem/1932061


Weird looks and stifled laughs.
Obvious whispers and earthquake jokes.
Whenever I walk out my door,
People act like they've never seen a fat girl before.

As if I'm some rare abomination.
I'm just an embarrassment,
To our self-absorbed nation.
People who look like me,
Should never go outside.

No one sees my beautiful eyes.
No one sees my perfect long red hair.
No one sees my sensuous lips.
They focus on my belly,
Not caring about the rest of me.

At times it bothers me.
It even makes me cry.
Yet I know,
That if people really feel the need,
To waste their time making fun of me,
They are the ones,
Who are really hurting inside.


© Tiffannie Brinkhaus, All rights reserved 

Big and Beautiful by Jadestone Doll

originally posted at: http://allpoetry.com/poem/1429557


I am beautiful,
and I don't care what you think about me.
My body may not be perfect,
but I have strength in personality.
Too many people like me,
let people like you bring them down.
Well I won't stand for it,
not ever and not now.

We are all different.
We come in all shapes, sizes, and colors.
No one is inferior or better than another.
So what makes you think,
you have the right to criticize me?
If you don't like me,
you are welcome to leave.

I may not look like barbie.
I may not look good in a bikini.
I may not be able to wear a size five.
I may be a little round in the middle,
and have thunder thighs.
But when I look in the mirror,
I know I like what I see,
Because I can appreciate the uniqueness,
that makes me
me.



© Tiffannie Brinkhaus, All rights reserved 

Jill Scott "Nothing Is For Nothing"

Fast forward to 2:16... This is powerful piece by Jill Scott. I love the poem because it reminds me of my younger days... It's not necessarily about being a chubby girl, but for me it exposes why I chose a certain path some years back.

(Un)Pretty .... by Stacey Adamz

Growing up, I was always awkward. I was tall, light skinned, had long hair and glasses. In an inner city school surrounded by darker skinned girls with short, non natural hair and that were normal height didn't make life any easier. The boys paid attention to them. They liked me because i was kind of good at kickball and i watched wrestling.

Growin up, i always wanted to be on the pretty girls. The ones who boys looked at when they walked past. The girls that boys wants to talk to on the phone late at night. The girls who boys wanted to make their girlfriend and pass notes to in the hallway.

I've never really been one of those girls. But I've always wanted to be. I always wanted to be pretty. Sure, I've been told that I'm attractive. Some even call me sexy. But that isn't good enough. Call me vain. But there is a difference between being attractive, cute, sexy, and pretty. Atractive means that you aren't ugly. You aren't really any of the other words, but you aren't butt ugly. Nothing really to write home about. Cute girls are the ones that are just that: Cute. They are freaking adorable. They have dimples or look younger than they actually are. They are just cute as a button. Sexy is just sex with a "y" at the end of it. You have sex appeal. You are sexually appealling. You look good enough for someone to want to have sex with. Whoopee!

But when you are pretty, people take notice. Time slows down when you walk into a room. Men and women alike stop in their tracks. People magazine picks out the Prettiest People of the Year. Pretty people grace magazine covers. Pretty people walk the runways. Pretty people rule the world. Think about it. Seriously think about it.

Sometimes i just sit back and wish i was one of the pretty girls of the world.....

Touches In The Night ..... by Mel B.

Growing up, I was already thicker than the other girls.  When I grew breasts around 8 or so, my mama didn't buy me a bra because she said it was fat.  When I started my cycle at 11, she said I must have done something wrong.  My femininity was never celebrated growing up.  I had womanly curves, but I was very much still a little girl.  My mama has recently admitted that she was scared that someone would touch me because I was so shapely.  Well, they did...  I wrote this on March 10, 2007 at 8:40 a.m.  It's called "Touches in the Night."

 

I've had touches in the night

Hesitant ones, rough ones, inappropriate ones

Ones to "check to see if I'd wet the bed"

This was a touch in the night that led

To my sister and I running next door

The police, ambulance, hospital, and more

Mama had left us with the touch alone

At the end of it all, we four ended up back at home

But I don't remember the touch touching

anymore

I've had touches in the night

Drunk ones, rough ones, inappropriate ones

Ones who touched when my aunt

Was asleep next to me

She was also as drunk as she could be

These touches should have been touching on her

Instead, they thought with her niece they'd share

Touches who in the daytime spoke of one day marrying her

There in the night tried pushing past my barriers

Thank God they were unsuccessful

 

I've had touches in the night

Accused ones, rough ones, inappropriate ones

Those who, I guess, put off for years

One day gave in to what my mom had feared

On a night when his real children had stayed

Crawled in my bed and tried to take what I'd saved

He gave up, finding out it was hard

The next day, mama locked us both out in the yard

I stayed with Big Mama for several months

I couldn't bear living there after that stunt

Eventually I went home to be with my mom

But I've never told her exactly what was wrong

 

I've had touches in the night

Stolen ones, rough ones, inappropriate ones

Who I'd thought was kinda cute during the day

Who later came in the room where I lay

Asleep in his sister's house

Still fully clothed in my swimsuit

It took me years to finally speak the truth

My swimsuit barrier he pushed aside

Just like with the ones before him,

I never opened my eyes

He laid there til morning to cover up the lie

I had my daughter nine months later

 

I've had touches in the night

That stole my innocence away

Something that belong to my husband someday

But God has given me a true man indeed

This is touch in the morning he brings

A welcoming touch - gentle and loving

Healing and soothing, it speaks to my soul

Those touches in the night may have been unclean

But with God, their sins and mine are redeemed

And there is nothing like the touches I'm getting now! 

Into My Skin by Angelic Melodii

I’MMA FULL-FIGURED WOMAN,
That grew up with low self esteem,
Other girls dressed up & played with Barbie,
But I dreamed to be like mommy,
Scurrying’ back & forth on the court,
On the hood’s basketball team.
I had all the male attention,
But yet, I felt as though I didn’t exist,
I just wanted to be noticed, maybe the main focus,
But all I got was a slap on the butt
For shootin’ jays, stickin’ to the plays,
& makin’ the net go… (((swish)))…but…

…INTO MY SKIN…
…Into my skin, loneliness moved in…

The prissy girls played the clarinet & flute,
To sit & be cute,
But I was beatin’ drums,
With the strength of Donkey Kong,
With the heart & enthusiasm from my historical root.
Hated dresses because my legs were short & stubby,
….I was energetic…
…but though it’s genetic,
I still remained chubby.
Had a crush on my childhood best friend,
But he considered me as one of his boys,
Didn’t want a girl whose armpit smelled worse than his,
With a stench that suddenly destroys, but…

…INTO MY SKIN…
…Into my skin, self-doubt moved in…

Hostess was my homie,
We was always chillin’,
But that crème fillin’,
Started catching up,
…Thighs thickenin’…
…Hips spreading…
…. Unwillin’…
I was not only that pretty face,
I was insecure about the dispersal of my weight.
I went from junior to misses,
But as I tried to fit my thighs into the misses size,
…my thigh was too thick.
I told the sales lady,
“…these must be runnin’ small,
Because these jeans just don’t fit…”
So by surprise,
She said, “Sweetie, if you walk back there to “plus size”,
That’ll definitely do the trick”, but…

…INTO MY SKIN…
..Into my skin, shame moved in…

I was fifteen,
& he said, “You’re the most beautiful queen,
Not a stick figure standard on Cosmo Magazine”,
Indeed, he lied just to get in my jeans,
But I said “NO”, I wanna’ be pure & clean.
He got mad & held me down,
Undoin’ my clothes & said
“Don’t make a sound”.
I was nearly rapped until I felt somethin’ new,
Looked into his eyes & said,
“What would Jesus do?”
Because my esteem was low,
I began doin’ things to fill empty voids,
Sex, weed, liquor…
But my spirit was utterly destroyed, but…

…INTO MY SKIN…
Into my skin, more demons moved in…
Wreakin’ havoc on God’s plan with oppression,
We give them too much power, will & authority,
We wrestle not against flesh & blood,
But spiritual wickedness & principalities…
I bind up confusion, low esteem & self doubt,
In Jesus name, we have the power to cast those devils out, so

INTO MY SKIN…
Into my skin, the Holy Spirit moved in…

I began to find myself, love myself,
& stop hidin’ my stories behind the computer screen,
I’m standin’ before masses & pursuin’ my every dream.
I got a purpose on the inside & its time to give birth,
But for a while, I was a hindrance,
I lost sight of my worth.
I learned to lift my head up & never look down,
Woulda’ never found my beauty by calculatin’ every pound.
I was told I had the power to make any man drool,
I refuse to use my goodies as a man-pullin’ tool.
I have power in my words that everyone has yet to see,
I’m anointed, I’m beautiful,
But most importantly,
I’m a child of a KING.

INTO MY SKIN…
Into my skin, self esteem moved in…

Lost 10-15 pounds,
Love handles & waist goin’ down,
Never had a butt, but you know what,
My low self esteem doors have long been shut.
Never to be reopened,
I’m standing tall…above all,
Because I found myself…I love myself,
& refuse to hide behind the computer screen,
I’m standin’ before masses & pursuin’ my every dream.
I found that peace that surpasses all understandin’,
I’m pushin’ away excess food to prevent my waist from expandin’.
We’ve all had insecurities that was barriers in our lane,
But there comes a day when you gotta’ stand up to those demons, look them in the eye & say,
“No More Pain”…
…because…
…INTO MY SKIN…
Into my skin, CHANGE moved in…

© Angelic Melodii [Carla Johnson] 2010